Jessica Fulk’s Unhinged Rant

From Wasted Space to… I Don’t Even Know Anymore in Mills Farm Overland Park

[Sound of deep sigh] It’s… I don’t even know what time it is. Jessica here. I gotta get this off my chest or I’m gonna explode.

This Golf Course Thing is Driving Me Nuts

Okay, so… Deer Creek. That old golf course nobody cared about? Yeah, that one. City’s finally doing something with it. Houses. Lots of ’em. [Sarcastic laugh] Because that’s exactly what we need, right? More houses. Genius. Had this guy call me today… no, wait, was it yesterday? Whatever. Asks me, “Jessica, is this good for the area?” Hell if I know, buddy. Do I look like I have a crystal ball? [Pause] Actually, that might make this job easier…

People Are Losing It (And So Am I)

The calls. Oh god, the calls. “Jessica, what’s gonna happen to my property value?” “Jessica, should I buy now?” “Jessica, what is a townhouse vs duplex?” [Sound of head hitting desk] I swear, if I have to explain that one more time… And don’t even get me started on Mills Farm homes for sale. They’re all freaking out. Like, chill people. Your view of dead grass wasn’t exactly a selling point before. Mills Farm Overland Park, what is a townhouse vs duplex, mills farm homes for sale, townhouse vs condo vs duplex, loch lloyd golf course

I’m This Close to Losing It

You know what’s really getting to me? It’s not the traffic… okay, it’s partly the traffic. It’s not the endless questions… okay, it’s those too. It’s… [Long pause] I don’t even know anymore. Had someone ask me about townhouse vs condo vs duplex again today. I just… I can’t. Maybe I should make a pamphlet. Or a tattoo on my forehead. Might save time.

I Need… Something. Anything.

You know what? Maybe I should tell everyone to move to Loch Lloyd golf course. At least there… [Yawn] At least there they still have golf. And probably less of my sanity. I don’t… [Sound of shuffling papers] Where was I? Oh, right. Houses. Golf. Whatever. Is this even real estate anymore or just glorified Monopoly? That’s it. I’m done. If one more person asks me about “investment potential” I’m gonna… I don’t know. Scream? Cry? Both? [Long pause] Is it too early for a drink? Too late? What day is it even? [Muffled groan] I need sleep. Or a new job. Or… [Voice trails off]