Why do people fall in love with each other?

Love, as the song says, is a multicolored thing. Therefore, when we find it, we cannot wait to enjoy the prey. But what in people makes them strive for love?

How we love

The initial stages of love depend a lot on our parents. We are born helpless babies, dependent on their parents for their needs. Love thus becomes a satisfaction of needs, and we seek the same love as adults.

What children learn about love from their parents determines how they will love others as adults. If your parents satisfied your need for emotional nurturing by giving you love, you became an adult with love to give. But if your emotional needs weren’t met, you didn’t fully develop and instead became a demanding and anxious adult, still seeking the love that you lacked as a child.

The brain and body affect love

Our brains are designed to support paired connections. When people fall in love, they fall into a state of indifference. This is because our brains and hormones go crazy when faced with genuine love interest.

When we are in the company of a loved one, the brain releases more serotonin, which gives a sense of well-being, more endorphins, which are natural pain relievers, and more dopamine, which increases pleasure.

Why is it easier for some people to find love?

From time to time, gazes meet at the other end of the room, and the rest is history. However, for most of us, falling in love is much more difficult. Sometimes a person who wants to be loved unconsciously takes their own path.

The more a lonely person seeks love, the more it eludes him. The more needy they seem, the less likely someone is to come into their life to satisfy those needs.

Why do people fall in love with those seem unremarkable to others?

Love card

Of the many factors that influence our perception of the best partner, one of the most revealing is the love map – a group of messages written in our brains that describes what we like and what we don’t. It shows our preferences for hair and eye color, voice, smell, physique. She also records the type of personality we like, be it a warm and friendly type or a strong, silent type.

We fall in love and chase those people who best fit our love card. And she, in many ways, was created in childhood. By the age of eight, the image of our ideal friend had already begun to rotate in our head.

The role of the mother

If you ask everyone to describe their mothers, there will be many similarities between their ideal friends and their mothers. Our mothers – the first true love in our lives – wrote a noticeable part of our love card.

When we are little, our mother is at the center of our attention, and we are at the center of her. Therefore, the characteristics of our mother create a strong impression, and we will forever like people with her facial features, body type, personality, even sense of humor. If our mother was kind and caring, then, growing up, we are usually attracted to people who are benevolent and sympathetic. If our mom was bossy and patient, we are attracted to similar people.

A mother has an additional influence on her sons: she not only gives them an understanding of what they will find attractive in marriage, but also influences the way they treat all women. So, if she is warm and sweet, her children are sure that all women do this. They will probably grow up warm and responsive.

Conversely, a mother with a depressed personality, sometimes friendly, but then suddenly cold and rejected, can raise a man who becomes a dancer. Because he was so afraid of love from his mother, he is afraid of obligations and on this occasion he may distance himself from his girlfriend.

Father’s role

While the mother largely determines the qualities that attract us in marriage, it is the father – the first man in our life – that influences the way we relate to the other sex. Fathers play a huge role in the development of the personality of their children and the possibility of family happiness for them.

Just as mothers influence a son’s general feelings for women, fathers influence a daughter’s relationship with men. If a father praises his daughter and at the same time treats her with respect, then in relations with men she will feel very good. But when the father is indifferent, disapproving or not, the daughter then tends to feel that she is not very pleasant or attractive.

General environment

In addition, a person grows up with people of close social status. We communicate with people from the same city; our friends have about the same education and the same life goals. We tend to feel best with these people, and as such, we tend to associate with those whose families are often similar to our own.

Are they really attracted to each other? Yes and no. In many ways, we need to have our mirror image. Physically attractive people, for example, tend to be attracted to a partner who is less attractive.

Our choice of partner includes a number of social similarities. But he also argued that we are looking for someone with complementary interests. The talker is attracted to the one who loves to listen, or the aggressive person is looking for a peaceful partner.

Love at first sight

Is there such a thing as love at first sight? Why not? When people are struck by love, it is that the couple discovers something unique that unites them. It could be something so mundane that they both read the same book or were born in the same city. At the same time, they find in another a certain trait that complements their own personality.